We are a society that glorifies stupidity. The TV show “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader” shows us that we as adults are often times dumber than 11 year olds (“The Hills” does the same thing), and we watched that show, basking in our intellectual ineptitude. We even made Paris Hilton a celebrity, how’s that for rewarding those who have the intelligence level of a gerbil?
But there is one place where, above all, our society has shown that we accept, and even embrace, people’s incredible amounts of stupidity, and that place is YouTube.
Yes YouTube, the one place where you can be watching idiots hitting each other in the groin with golf balls one minute, flip over to a heavier set woman dancing on a table before she falls off in a crash of what must have been both physical and psychological pain, then finish up by simply watching an array of men light their own farts on fire.
It is a virtual amusement park for the easily amused and slightly intoxicated, the main attractions being riddled with the shenanigans of those who have either made the active decision not to have any sort of purpose to their lives, or those who believe that their purpose is simply to be the person whom normal, sensible people look at and say, “Man, I’m glad I’m not them.”
I often times wonder what kind of thought process these people go through before they do these incredibly idiotic acts, and whether they think at all about what could happen. I wonder if that man thought that if he got really close to where his son was swinging a baseball bat, that there was no chance his face could connect with said bat for what I’m sure viewers would agree was a home run of entertainment. Yet the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that these people are not just normal people who happened to fall under strange circumstances, these people are just complete idiots.
Seriously, if nothing else YouTube serves as a warning to me that about 90% of the people I may meet in my life are willing to get a baseball thrown at them, or kick small children in the face while break dancing.
Sure, YouTube is certainly a great medium for sharing information with the whole world, but I can never fully get behind YouTube until the most viewed video of all time is no longer a race between Avril Lavigne’s music video for “Girlfriend” and a baby biting his brother’s finger, as their parents sit idly by, filming and giving those kids plenty to talk about in therapy 30 years from now. Yes, keep filming mom and dad, your kids will thank you later for holding the camera as their childhood is diminished to nothing but a filmed montage of pain, both emotional and physical (“He just kept biting me, and my parents just laughed and filmed it!”).
Possibly the scariest part about YouTube is the fact that there is nowhere else for it to go. We’ve now seen everything there is to see. You could type in your wildest idea of something you don’t think anyone has ever done, and by gosh YouTube becomes “Encyclopedia Stupanica” for you and finds that farting panda, or that guy who can lip sync any Michael Jackson song (yes, with all of the dance moves).
The only thing scarier than the selection YouTube has now is the selection YouTube will have for the next generation. Where else does it go to keep people watching? The answer: dudes stabbing other dudes.
How else are people going to shocked? YouTube has everything else, just think about it. Sure it’s disgusting and morally inept to let fester in your head, but if you saw a video simply titled “Guy Gets Stabbed With My Switchblade,” I bet you’d watch, and so would upwards of 30,000,000 others just as willing to sink to the lowest levels of entertainment as you are.
But I know that YouTube is here to stay, and there is nothing I can do about it. As for me, I’m finally ready to use a golf club, golf ball, and my friend’s groin to make my mark on the virtual world. I just hope my friend is ready to become an icon.
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